We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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