Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
