Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
