I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
