I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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