i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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