covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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