We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
