Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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