So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
