Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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