i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
