I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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