well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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