Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
