Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pappa wants mamma naked
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize