I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
