My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
two words: eviction party
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
