He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
