In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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