If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
