oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
