I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
