She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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