Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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