I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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