12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
