Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
