I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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