How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
