Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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