I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
