Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Randomize