Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
