Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
