Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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