It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
