I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
