Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
