I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i will never coherently bang her
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
