id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
