I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
