I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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