It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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