It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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