Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize