Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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