He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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