There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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