he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
