My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
