the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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