meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
