you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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