Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wear drunk well.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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