Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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